I don’t know about
you, but I have a hard time when it comes to slowing down and resting. I am
normally always on the go whether it be stuff for my small business, errands,
chores, visiting friends, etc. I find that I don’t get to really relax until 10
at night when my husband comes home and even then I normally get a plate
together for him and start cleaning up from the days activities.
Now these are things
that I choose to do. No one makes me. I mean our house would probably fall
apart if I didn’t do most of them haha but still my husband is capable of doing
the things I do. He’s at work 10-10 so it isn’t that realistic but the point is
I DO NOT NEED TO TAKE ON THE LOAD ALL BY MYSELF. I choose to. I choose to
exhaust myself most days. I choose to get frustrated. I choose to feel like
there is never enough time. I choose to not take a nap and drain myself.
Y’all, I have so been a
Martha most of the time! Ugh, I don’t like admitting that, but it’s so true and
my family has been affected by my Martha ways.
Who the heck is this
Martha, you ask? Well there is a story about two sisters who had the pleasure
of spending time with Jesus. Well really, one of them had the pleasure of
spending time with Jesus.
When Jesus was
welcomed into their home, Martha started to get flustered and started preparing
a huge dinner for them to eat. If she is like me she was probably cooking
something that ended up in creating a MASSIVE pile of dishes making even more
work for herself.
Mary on the other
hand was just hanging out with Jesus and listening to all he had to say. She
was soaking in his presence and enjoying her time with him. This PISSED Martha
off. Shoot, I would be pissed if I was having company over and I am making this
huge meal while my sister sits on the couch and doesn’t even offer to help.
Martha ran to Jesus and whined, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my
sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me”
(Luke 10:40). But Jesus thought otherwise. He said, “My dear Martha, you are
worried and upset over all these details! There
is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it
will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41,42)
OH SNAP! You tell her
Jesus! Wait, I am Martha though….I normally worry and get upset over all the
little details. I am always on the go, go, go.
Recently I had multiple
occasions where it hit me hard that I need to stop being a Martha.
We were having company over
and I was getting dinner ready. I was making salmon that took 2 hours to
marinate and another hour to cook. I was making sides to go with it and
dessert. The kitchen was becoming a mess piled with dishes as high as Mt.
Everest. I kept looking at the time and seeing that things were not going to be
ready on time and I still needed to straighten up the house. My husband asked
me a question and I snapped at him. He said, “we need to stop having people
over. This happens every time. You become overwhelmed and concerned with the
simplest things.” Well dang babe, thanks. Clearly that is not something I
wanted to hear at the time, but Brent was 100% right. I was a mess. I wanted
everything to be perfect and it felt like no matter what I did, my efforts were not going to be enough (like my first post!). If Knew I was going to get overwhelmed why couldn’t I just order a
pizza? Why not spend that time I was using to cook to relax instead and be at
peace before company arrived. When it comes down to it, I much rather enjoy my
time with company than have left over frustration residing within me during our
time of fellowship, hindering myself from being open to blessing God had planned during our time together.
Another time I was a Martha
it broke me. Otis has been teething. He goes to bed earlier now which means he
wakes a little earlier in the morning. Y’all I have been spoiled up to this
point. Otis would sleep in until 9 sometimes 10! Can I get a HALLELUJAH?! But
now he has been waking around 7/7:30. The other morning I got snappy because of
my sons actions. My little 5 month old who is innocent and doesn’t think
anything of waking up at 7 am. He woke up and I picked him up and started
talking to myself, “well great I guess my day has started! Thanks Otis for
waking up so early. I DO NOT want to be up this early.” I started banging
things around in the family room (not violently, but making more noise than
needed just to be dramatic). But why was I so frustrated with that? 7:30 really isn’t that early. I
used to be out the door for work at 6 when I was nannying. It was frustrating
because I didn’t get enough sleep the night before. Because I didn't get to sleep in. Otis goes to bed around 7/8
but I stay up to do dishes and get the house in order so when Brent gets home
from work he is welcomed by a clean and tidy home. I could spend the time
relaxing and going to bed earlier but instead I stay up late and concern myself
with things that can get done the next day. I sat on the couch that night and
cried. I felt horrible for how I acted in the morning towards my child. Otis
didn’t realize how I was feeling but one day when he is older he will be able
to pick up on those things. He will be able to know when I am frustrated and annoyed and that is something I never want my child to see in me. I asked God to forgive me for getting in the flesh
and being selfish. From that day on I told myself, If the dishes aren’t done by
the time Otis goes to bed they can get done in the morning. If I don’t go to
sleep when he does I make myself sit on the couch and unwind with my TV show. I
leave all the housework because lets be real, it isn’t going anywhere. It will
be there tomorrow. Me relaxing and resting causes me to be a better mommy to
Otis. When I don’t I am on edge and get frustrated with the littlest things.
Another Martha moment….gosh
I feel like I can give examples for days. Like I previously said I am normally
go, go, go. Crazy right, a stay at home mom does more than stay at home lol. But
a lot of the things that I am doing are not priorities. They are things that
can get done at another time. I love doing home projects. When Otis naps I can
usually be found painting something, making something, designing something etc.
But I have noticed how much energy it takes to get it done when I can be
resting while he naps. Instead I do work. When I do work, I get even more
tired. Then when my husband gets home I am exhausted and don’t want to stay up
with him so I go to bed. I was missing quality time with my husband because I
was too tired from all the EXTRA things I decided to take on that day. Y’all I
don’t get to see my husband that much during the week. We don’t have the luxury
of a 9-5 job like most families. He is gone from 10am-10pm. We miss afternoons
together and dinner as a family. So when he gets home at night we have a chance
to relax together and catch up. But because I would chose to exhaust myself
during the day we would miss those moments together because I was grumpy and
tired. Now I force myself to nap or lay down at least one time when Otis does
and it has made a HUGE difference! When Brent gets home we sit together, talk
about our day, watch a movie…we enjoy each other’s presence.
We read more about Martha
and Mary in John 11 and again in Mark 14. While in Bethany Mary broke out an
alabaster jar of expensive perfume and poured it over Jesus’ head. People who
were gathered around were perplexed at Mary’s actions. “Why waste such
expensive perfume?” they asked. “It could have been sold for a year’s wages and the money given
to the poor!” So they scolded her harshly. But Jesus replied, “Leave her
alone. Why criticize her for doing such a good thing to me? You will always have the poor among you,
and you can help them whenever you want to. But you will not always have me. She has done what she could and has
anointed my body for burial ahead of time. I
tell you the truth, wherever the Good News is preached throughout the world,
this woman’s deed will be remembered and discussed” (Mark 14:4-9)
We see two things here. One, the other people were so concerned with other things that when something happened against what they would have wanted to do they "scolded her HARSHLY. They got frustrated and in the flesh instead of enjoying being with Jesus and being blessed by his presence. Two, we see how Mary could have concerned
herself like her peers and only be focused on all the poor people who could have been helped by that jar. But
Jesus so beautifully reminded them that the poor were not going anywhere.
Friends, those
dishes aren’t going anywhere. That pile of laundry isn’t gong anywhere. That
home project isn’t going anywhere. That yard work isn’t going anywhere. But
your time? That is going somewhere. It is counting down. Don’t waste it being concerned
about the little things. Spend it doing things that will be remembered and
discussed for years to come.
I want Otis to grow up telling
me stories about things he remembers doing with me everyday. I don’t want him
to look back on his childhood and remember me being frustrated and overwhelmed
and busy all the time. I want him to know he will always be my top priority. That I will always choose him.
I want my husband and I to
grow old together and talk about all the adventures we went on and the legacy
we built. Not the fights we got into because I’m overwhelmed and overtired from
always being on the go.
Sisters, lets be a Mary.
Lets put things that can be put on hold, ON HOLD! Lets learn to rest and enjoy
the moments Jesus placed in front of us. That is the only way you will prosper
and enjoy the goodness and fullness God desires you to experience. It is not to late to turn from your Martha ways and begin anew!