Proverbs 31: A NEW TAKE

The other night at dinner my husband asked me, “Do you believe you are where God called you to be?” It is a question that we ask each other often to hold each other accountable in making sure we are doing what God called us to do in all aspects of our lives. It is this question that I believe we should all ask ourselves and when we can answer it we can then start to become a Proverbs 31 woman. But what is a Proverbs 31 woman?

We have all read and heard many teachings on Proverbs 31. As Christian women, we’ve been taught to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

We become engaged and immediately study up on the Proverbs 31 woman and take note on how she is as a wife. We start a family and we restudy how perfect of a mother the Proverbs 31 woman is.

I mean come on, the woman was pretty legit! She found wool and flax and spun it for clothes. She found food for her family. She would wake up BEFORE dawn to make a beautiful breakfast for her family AND plan her to do list for her and her servant girls….BEFORE dawn. (I have a hard time waking up at 8!) She bought land and made vineyards.  She did all of this and still found the time to help the poor and needy.

Y’all, I don’t know about you, but when I read this I feel like I just read a list of impossible tasks. This verse was taught to me in a way that made me feel like if I did not measure up to Miss Proverbs 31, I would be less than a woman, wife, and mother. “Do this and you will be a capable wife!”. So wait, if I don’t do this you are saying that I won’t be a capable wife?

It was not until recently that I realized God’s heart in this passage. I went through the beginning of my marriage feeling like I failed my husband.  I wasn’t waking up before dawn to make him breakfast before he had to go to work. There were nights that I was so tired from work that I didn’t make dinner.  I wasn’t getting pregnant in our time frame and felt like I was failing as a woman and a wife because I wasn’t giving my husband children right away. It was emotionally taxing and became physically taxing trying so hard to measure up to this woman we’ve heard so much about.

I began to dive more into studying Proverbs 31 and came across some things that caused my heart to change when it came to womanhood, being a wife, and a mommy. I began to be encouraged and uplifted. And I pray that you are too!

Through my studying I came to find that in Jewish culture the MEN are called to memorize Proverbs 31. I mean, to me, that makes total sense. The passage is ABOUT women but it is ADDRESSED to men! They memorize this passage and they sing it as a song of PRAISE to the women in their life. It is a song of encouragement and love, appreciation and praise!

Proverbs 31:10 says, “A virtuous woman who can find?” another word for virtuous is VALOR. “A woman of valor who can find?” This verse sets the tone for the entire passage. This whole passage is about a virtuous woman. A woman of valor. Valor isn’t about WHAT you do but HOW you do it! Different synonyms for valor are: BRAVERY, COURAGE, FEARLESSNESS, BOLDNESS, DAUNTLESSNESS. These are all words that describe HOW something is done.

In all the Bible only TWO women were referred to as virtuous. The Proverbs 31 woman and Ruth. When you look at these women their lives are VERY DIFFERENT but they were both deemed women of VALOR.

The Proverbs 31 woman was established. She was married. She had children. She served her household as a stay at home wife and mom (you can say). She planted and harvested food
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Ruth on the other hand was a widow. She had no children (at the time when she was referred to as virtuous Ruth 3:11) She was a servant to Boaz. She was a wanderer with her mother-in-law, Naomi.

But she was loyal like no other. “Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!” (Ruth 1:16-17). Talk about a ride or die chic! She was diligent. ““Let me go out into the harvest fields to pick up the stalks of grain left behind by anyone who is kind enough to let me do it.” (Ruth 2:2). She was strong and  brave. She knew that she could have been treated poorly and harassed if she went into someone’s field to gather grain and barley for her and Naomi, yet she did it anyway! (Ruth 2). She was determined. She stayed with Boaz and his servant girls until the harvest was over. Everyday she would follow behind his harvesters and collect crops that she would bring back to Naomi. She was a woman of immense faith. Her husband died and her future was unknown but what she did know was that God was good and He already had her future mapped out all she needed to do was obey. You see, it wasn’t what Ruth did that made her a virtuous woman BUT how she did what she did that made her virtuous.

The Proverbs 31 woman and Ruth had very different lives. Their roles did not look the same but they were both virtuous. They both ran the race God placed before them with valor.

You see, Proverbs 31 is not a checklist for how well you are doing as a woman, wife, and/or mommy. It’s an example of how to be virtuous in the role God placed us in.

Whether you are a stay at home mom, a Doctor, a teacher, a business professional, a waitress, a student, etc you are measuring up! You are right where you need to be and you are doing exactly enough because you are where God called you to be! You are running YOUR race with valor. You are a virtuous woman!